Category: "Column 1"
Column one of The Kollman Report delivers the day’s biggest headlines with sharp humor, quick analysis, and a late-night comedy twist on the news.
- TRUMP PASSPORT SHOCKER
A passport with Trump’s face—why the State Department says this historic release is only the beginning.
- $90M PLANNED PARENTHOOD LOAN SHAKEUP
Planned Parenthood got millions in COVID loans—then officials allegedly hid the paper trail.
- OPENAI FOUNDERS’ WAR
Elon Musk takes the stand, accusing OpenAI of looting a charity in a case with billions at stake
- MAMDANI’S ALL-MALE SHELTERS, ALL-FEMALE SURPRISES
Mayor Mamdani celebrates 100 days with Bernie, proving government can fund everything except common sense
- BEHAR JESUS BLAST… VIEW LOW
The View spirals into a shocking attack on Jesus, and even Whoopi hits the brakes.
- ARMED MAN AT TRUMP GOLF!
Police swarm Trump’s LA golf club after a heavily armed suspect triggers a terrifying search.
- D4VD ARRESTED IN TEEN BODY HORROR
Singer D4vd arrested, and the body found in his Tesla raises chilling new questions
- BLUESKY CRASHES HARD DEMS LEFT STRANDED
Bluesky crashes hard before dawn—over 1,300 outages and users are still locked out!
- REAL HOUSEWIVES MEETS LOW-RENT ESPIONAGE
Her car borrow turned wiretap: Miami’s hottest lease, now with felony financing.
- TICKETMASTER PRICE-GOUGING SCANDAL EXPLODES
Live Nation slapped with monopoly ruling—Ticketmaster’s empire could unravel next
- TRUMP EYES TED CRUZ FOR SUPREME COURT
House GOP revolt stalls spy powers as hard-liners threaten to torpedo Trump’s plan
- SAFEMAYOR? ALBERTSONS TO PAY $774 MILLION IN OPIOID DEAL
A grocery giant faces a multimillion-dollar opioid reckoning—Colorado cashes in, but the full fallout looms.
- SOCIAL SECURITY COLA SHOCK
A bigger Social Security boost may be coming, but soaring inflation is rewriting the numbers now.
- FULLER DELIVERS RELIEF FOR MIKE JOHNSON
Trump takes the credit in Georgia, and one House seat could decide everything
- MOLOTOV MADNESS TARGETS OPENAI TYCOON!
Predawn terror at Sam Altman’s home—now federal agents storm a suspect’s Texas doorstep
- DOJ BOMBSHELL: BIDEN TEAM WEAPONIZED PRO-LIFE PROSECUTIONS
Justice Department bombshell: officials accuse Biden prosecutors of targeting pro-life activists!
- TEEN HACKER’S $60 MILLION CHILD DATA HEIST SHOCKS NATION
Teen hacker on the way to prison reveals the terrifying cyberattack that shook the White House
- SCHUMER’S FOREHEAD MYSTERY
Schumer’s forehead bandage sparked whispers on Capitol Hill—then came a bizarre midnight explanation.
- DINNER-PARTY ASSASSINATION CLAIM
A shocking Hollywood accusation now swirling around Trump’s latest assassination scare.
- 500 COPS STORM CREWE RELIGIOUS COMPOUND!
500 officers storm Crewe as shocking abuse claims rock a religious community
- SPIRIT COLLAPSE… PASSENGERS STRANDED? CHAPTER 11 DEATH WATCH
Spirit Airlines could vanish today, stranding passengers with nowhere to go and no warning.
- TOP CLEARANCE SCIENTISTS VANISH—WHITE HOUSE ON ALERT
Trump wants answers as elite scientists vanish — and the White House digs deeper
- 14 SHOTS… STAIRWELL FALL… CRUISE LINE HIT: $300K
Carnival’s new safety plan: fourteen tequila shots, then a stairwell test.
- CREEPY AI REVIVES KILMER; AS A CATHOLIC PRIEST
Hollywood found a way to cast Val Kilmer again: paperwork, grief, and a dash of CGI séance
- TRADER JOE’S $7.4M PRIVACY PAYOUT
Trader Joe’s privacy bombshell: millions may claim cash after receipts exposed card digits.
- ROGAN ELECTS LOS ANGELES MAYOR BY PODCAST
Joe Rogan, Texas resident, now officially appointing Los Angeles mayors from afar with podcast depth.
- NEW LEADER TO SHUT DOWN STATE TV PROPAGANDA MACHINE!
Hungary’s incoming leader shocks state media, vowing a brutal shutdown of its news coverage today
- BUFFETT’S $7 TAX SHOCK
From seven dollars in taxes to billions paid, Buffett’s extraordinary contrast raises a bigger question tonight.
- BABY JESSICA’S BIG NIGHT: RESCUED FROM A WELL, NOT SATURDAY
From “Baby Jessica” to booking photo—life sure loves a harsh sequel.
- AMAZON ACCUSED OF BRICKING FIRE STICKS!
Amazon accused of bricking Fire TV Sticks—customers say their streaming lifeline suddenly died
- RARE PEACE TALK, COURTESY OF FRESH AIRSTRIKES
Israel and Lebanon try diplomacy; because apparently missiles needed a meeting agenda.
- TEACHERS’ UNIONS HOST WEBINAR ON TEACHING TODDLERS THE JOY OF PROTEST
Apparently preschool now comes with a side of revolution and a tiny union card.
- GROUPS BLAST META FACE GLASSES
Meta’s smart glasses may soon identify faces — and critics are sounding the alarm
- HORMUZ BLOCKADE… WAR RISK
Hours from now, the U.S. moves to choke off Iranian ports—and trigger a showdown at sea.
- COURT CRUSHES TRUMP ICE BOND-BAN
A federal court slams the brakes on Trump’s ICE crackdown—millions could be locked up next.
- SUPREME COURT V. TPS
Supreme Court showdown could strip protections from thousands of Haitians and Syrians tomorrow.
- TRUMP BALLROOM: $400M GRAB
After a foiled assassination attempt, Republicans rush millions toward Trump’s ballroom and security fight.
- WHITE HOUSE HOSTS PRO-LIFE ANTI-WEAPONIZATION TEA PARTY
Trump DOJ hosts pro-life allies, proving bureaucracy can weaponize a lobbyist with seating charts.
- AIR FORCE READINESS CRISIS
The Air Force says it’s at its weakest in 78 years — and Congress may not be able to fix it.
- 801 CHOPHOUSE FILES CHAPTER 11
A luxury steakhouse chain collapses under soaring beef prices—what this bankruptcy means next.
- QVC TEETERS DEBT-MOUNTAIN SHOCK
QVC’s debt bomb may force bankruptcy talks as lenders circle in secret
- HOSPITALS HIT BY DIARRHEA SUPERBUG
A dangerous superbug is surging nationwide, and doctors may be running out of options
- XANAX RECALLED FOR NOT WORKING FAST ENOUGH
FDA recalls Xanax for not dissolving—apparently even the pills are too anxious to commit.
- MICROSOFT SOLVES 169 VULNERABILITIES BY SIMPLY HAVING MORE VULNERABILITIES
Microsoft patched 169 flaws; apparently even software needed a little spring cleaning, bless it.
- RUSSINI QUITS… EYES ON VRABEL?
One resignation, one investigation, and one coach still silent as pressure builds overnight.
- GOOGLE’S ANDROID SPY SCANDAL SETTLEMENT SHOCKS MILLIONS!
Android users, brace yourselves: a $135 million payout could be hiding in your devices' data trail.
- TRUMP, MEADOWS, RIOTERS FORM A REFUND LINE
Mark Meadows wants the Justice Department to pay his legal bills; bureaucracy finally meets its natural predator.
- VANCE TELLS POPE TO STAY IN HIS LANE
Vance says the pope should avoid politics, then expertly practices political theology.
- EPSTEIN VICTIM BACKS MELANIA
Melania demands a hearing for Epstein victims, and one survivor says she’ll testify first.
- CARNEY SNAGS MAJORITY
Two Toronto victories just changed Canada’s power balance—what Prime Minister Carney can now force through next.
- TEHRAN CAN’T FIND MINES
Iran’s mine gamble may have backfired—now nobody knows where the weapons drifted.