March 4, 2026

The primary elections in Texas this week may bring us closer to the daily heartburn of a Sen. James Talarico, endlessly sermonizing on the biblical mandate for pediatric phalloplasty and trans abortions.

JAMES TALARICO: “Our trans community needs abortion care too.” This is who Democrats just nominated as their senate candidate. pic.twitter.com/INHeOteRYs

But the same election results will send some theater kids home for good, so the day is worth celebrating. In one unfortunate case, the result is only a maybe: A particularly repulsive Democrat performance artist, Rep. Al Green, has for years filed articles of impeachment against President Trump on something close to all days ending in y, and has developed a particular taste for middle school theatrics during the State of the Union address.

Green came in second in his primary this week, but his most successful challenger fell short of 50 percent, forcing a runoff. Still, a second-place finish for a longtime officeholder suggests that even Texas Democrats are getting tired of him.

Better news: Losing to Talarico’s fake preacher act, the Democrat Rep. Jasmine Crockett gave up her House seat for her Senate campaign. That means we’ll get much less of this in the next Congress:

Miraculous that no chairs were thrown during that hearing, or that Maury Povich didn’t show up with the results of a paternity test.

Texas primary results signal a mix of political drama and relief, with Democrats nominating Sen. James Talarico, known for his controversial stance on pediatric phalloplasty and trans abortions, while theater kids and fans of Rep. Al Green’s relentless impeachment antics face potential goodbyes. Green’s narrow second-place finish, leading to a runoff, hints at waning patience even among Texas Democrats, while Rep. Jasmine Crockett’s Senate bid means she’s vacating her House seat, promising a departure from the circus-like hearings she was known for, sparing the next Congress from further spectacle and chaos.

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