ROGAN ELECTS LOS ANGELES MAYOR BY PODCAST

In the latest episode of America’s favorite civic reality show, Joe Rogan—who has relocated to Texas but remains emotionally available for Los Angeles like a divorced dad with strong opinions—announced he’s “voting” for Spencer Pratt, which is a charmingly precise way of endorsing a man running for mayor after losing his house in the Palisades fire and deciding that city hall should answer for water shortages and recovery problems. Pratt, delighted to have the GOAT of podcast gravity on his side, said he wants to make LA so awesome it can win Rogan back from Texas, which is either a campaign promise or the funniest hostage negotiation in municipal politics. Meanwhile, in Washington, Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson was busy describing the Supreme Court’s emergency-orders-as-policy machine as “scratch-paper musings,” a phrase so devastatingly polite it practically comes with a gavel and a deadpan stare, as the court continues its long tradition of turning temporary legal scribbles into permanent governmental improv. It’s all very reassuring: celebrities auditioning for