LEBANON SAYS HEZBOLLAH: TERRORIST? DEPENDS ON THE DAY

In the grand theater of Middle Eastern diplomacy, Sen. Lindsey Graham proved once again that diplomacy means never having to say you’re vaguely confused — or cozy with terrorists. After Lebanese General Haykal declined to label Hezbollah a terrorist outfit on Lebanese turf, Graham, like a kid who just got told the dog ate his homework, promptly canceled the meeting and tweeted his disappointment to the digital void, because nothing says “productive foreign relations” like public scolding. Meanwhile, experts warn that Lebanon’s armed forces might be cozying up to Hezbollah more than a polite distance suggests, sharing intel like overenthusiastic pen pals. But hey, why let inconvenient facts get in the way of international aid when you can just insist your “reliable partners” recognize an organization that’s been on the terrorist list since before some Twitter users were born? The Lebanese embassy’s silence speaks volumes—possibly through a badly tuned fax machine somewhere.