April 15, 2026

In a development that gives “licensed premises” the sort of prestige usually reserved for a committee hearing, Victoria Police say they’re now investigating a historical sexual assault allegation involving Katy Perry, after Ruby Rose made the claim in a blistering Threads post and Perry dismissed the reports as “reckless lies.” The alleged incident is said to date back to a Melbourne nightclub in 2010, because apparently nothing says modern celebrity accountability like a decade-and-a-half-old night out suddenly being processed through the solemn machinery of official spokespeople, media headlines, and a statement that politely announces it would be “inappropriate to comment further” while everyone else comments furiously everywhere else.

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