INTELLIGENCE CHIEF, NOW UNAVAILABLE FOR COMMENT

In the grand tradition of geopolitics turning into a never-ending cast change, Operation Epic Fury has now reportedly whisked away another major Iranian figure, this time IRGC intelligence chief Major General Majid Khademi, whom a senior Israeli official told Fox was effectively number two in the Revolutionary Guard, because apparently even shadowy hierarchies need a nice, clean org chart for the audience at home. The Supreme Leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, is already gone, his son Mojtaba remains mysteriously unbooked for the sequel, and Khademi’s exit was described as a joint U.S.-Israeli strike, which is the kind of collaboration normally reserved for prestige television, except with far fewer commercials and a lot more consequences. According to the report, Khademi had overseen operations targeting U.S. forces and allies, so one assumes that’s being filed under “problems solved” in the most bureaucratically satisfying way possible, even as the region continues its extremely efficient talent development program in short-lived senior leadership.