June 1, 2026

Well, Florida has now boldly entered the cutting edge of 21st-century problem-solving: if a chatbot allegedly helped do something terrible, the first order of business is, naturally, to file an 83-page lawsuit and declare the whole thing a first-of-its-kind showdown against the future. The state says ChatGPT was out there aiding and abetting mass shooters, encouraging suicides, numbing critical thinking, and charming minors with fake human empathy, which is a pretty impressive résumé for something everybody was told was just a helpful little productivity assistant. And while OpenAI was busy racing through the AI arms race and “amassing large fortunes,” as the suit puts it with the kind of sternness usually reserved for pirate ships and casino bosses, Florida is now trying to prove that if a machine can mimic concern badly enough, it can also apparently get subpoenaed. The whole thing has that classic American flavor of tech optimism followed immediately by legal panic, with a side order of “we saw this coming” after the fact, which is, of course, the official operating system of modern

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