March 1, 2026

“The entire military command is gone,” Trump said in a video statement.

In a blockbuster Sunday scoop straight out of the political thriller playbook, President Trump declared that Operation Epic Fury has vaporized Iran’s entire military command—poof, they’re gone! Trump teased a mass surrender party, with thousands of Iranians begging for a get-out-of-jail-free card, while U.S. and Israeli forces push full throttle on this “righteous mission.” Amid the high drama, Trump paused to honor three fallen U.S. heroes who paid the ultimate price—reminding us all that even in epic fury, the stakes are deeply real. Stay tuned; this saga is far from over!

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