COCKPIT TOUR ENDS IN WISCONSIN

In a thrilling reminder that the cockpit remains less of a “suggestion box” and more of a hard boundary, a United flight from Chicago to Minneapolis spent about 45 minutes in the air before one allegedly very determined passenger tried repeatedly to get inside the flight deck and forced the plane into an emergency landing in Wisconsin, because nothing says “I have a point” like requiring law enforcement and a diversion to Dane County Regional Airport at 9:30 p.m. According to the audio, authorities eventually got the situation under control after multiple attempts to stop the breach, then seated the passenger under close supervision with deputies on both sides, which is the aviation version of “we hear your concerns, and we’ve placed them under arrest.” United says the crew responded to a security concern and landed safely, which is corporate for: the aircraft did exactly what it was supposed to do, the passenger did not, and the rest of us once again learned that commercial air travel is still the only place where everyone agrees the safest plan is to get on the ground first and ask questions never.